Whoops, I did it again

I know, I know.

I said I would keep up with this thing, and look at me now.

Sorry.

The last few months have been harder than expected....now there's an understatement. It's taken me far too long to realise that I push myself way too hard. Work/study/craft/play/music/life....I can't believe that I am still learning that I don't have to fill every minute of every day to make life worthwhile. Something had to give, and this time it was my OU course. I cried for about three days solid. 

But. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Suddenly, I have time to do all the other things I wanted to do. And it's amazing how much crafting you can get done when you don't have to spend 16 hours a week studying Shakespeare.

Yes, these are crafty projects including a cross-stitch first started in 2001. There's a story in that, and I'll tell you another time. There has also been knitting, crochet, and many things involving paper and paint. And, for the first time in about a year and a half, today I played the piano. 

My list of goals for 2012 has been radically revised....but only in terms of timescale. I will keep reminding myself that it is ok to take things slowly. To be selfish in what I do and how I spend my time. I will get there in the end, but the joy is in the journey.

Current obsessions - nail varnish

Oh Pinterest, it's all your fault. I started following a few boards with nail designs on, then I subscribed to a few blogs, and before I knew it my nail varnish collection was out of control. How many colours does a girl need? Over 55, apparently. (I keep finding them in unlikely places, plus a I still need a white.) Then Mindy introduced me to quick-drying top coats. How did I never discover these before? I'm currently using a Sally Hansen version but apparently Seche Vite is the nail blogger's choice.  

There is a whole world out there of some amazing art and I am only at the beginning, that's for sure. There are stamps and transfers and designs you can paint on...but in the meantime it's amazing what you can do with some sellotape. Paint your base coat, wait till it's properly dry (even the insta-dry stuff takes a few minutes) then place tape to mask off a section of your nail. Paint on the contrasting colour, and peel the tape off immediately. Use a quick-dry top coat to even it all out and there you go. There are much more detailed tutorials out there, but that's the idea.

It is occasionally amusing to think back to my old self - the one who wore baggy jeans and polo shirts, who used makeup as a mask and didn't really know what to do with nail varnish, and would definitely never have put two colours together. I can't believe it's taken me this long, but it feels good. And I guess I have the internet to thank for it.

Goodbye February

If you asked me, I would tell you that February was a really hard month. That it was grey and blah and I was glad to see the back of it.

But if I really think, February wasn't all bad. It's a month of birthdays - three special girls means several parties. And parties are always good.

And despite feeling as though I have had no time at all to be creative, the pictures I have taken of my scrapbook pages tell a different story. Apparently I did make stuff.

And actually, despite the grey and blah that definitely floated around, there was a lot of sunshine too. (I told you these yellow roses would pop up again).

So maybe February wasn't so bad after all. I am still, however, very glad to welcome March. Hello Spring!

Yellow roses

You'd think this an everlasting bunch of yellow roses...but no, this and the page from my last post were taken on the same day, that's all. You'll get confused if I use another photo from the same set in December, I tell you.

I feel sort of guilty that I don't blog more often, because I made the commitment to come back and I like that this is a diary of my crafty life. But I feel guilty every time I pick up a piece of paper at the moment, because I know there are other, more important things that I should be doing. And studying is only one of those things.

Whenever I write a blog post I look back at my old posts to make sure I'm not repeating myself. There are definitely some common themes, and finding the balance in my life is one of them. Even before I was ill I struggled to balance duty with pleasure, and fun with responsibility. These days I have to factor in health, and energy, and a lot more emotion than I ever had to juggle before. I thought that when I returned to work last year I had cracked the whole 'life after cancer' thing. Now I think that the universe was probably having a good laugh at me then. There is definitely no easy solution, just a lot of hard work.

But life isn't all bad; I bought some new roses today. And despite feeling guilty, I am still picking up the paper and creating pages that make me smile.

Working it out

Sometimes it's hard to fit everything in.

In the second month of 2012, I am very aware of my super-long list of goals for the year, and how much I have to do to achieve them. I was doing really well and feeling really motivated, and then I went back to work full-time.

Obviously I am pleased to be healthy enough to be back at work, blah blah, but really - it gets in the way of everything else I want to do.

Like scrapbooking. And studying. And occasionally combining the two as you can see in the page above. I realised that something which is supposed to take 20 hours of my week (in reality, of course it doesn't) should probably feature in my albums occasionally. For example - remind me again why I am doing this?! I think I will be re-reading this page a lot in the weeks to come. (And yes, it's Shakespeare, so you have to allow me this title just once, ok?)

I am still working out the patterns in my life that will give me the time to do all I want to in a week without feeling exhausted by Wednesday afternoon. Bear with me :)

Procrastinating

I put a lot of things off.

Right now, it is that I should be opening the books to start my course. Instead, I have managed to do all kinds of things that really didn't need doing right now, but were preferable to thinking about Shakespeare. Including my financial paperwork. It must be bad.

This layout took me a week. I am not kidding. I started with three different backgrounds, and even got as far as sticking the photos down. Then I decided I didn't like it and I tore it apart, and I never do that.  I always try and make it work but it really wasn't happening. Then I saw this starting point from Shimelle, and suddenly it all came together. In my quest to use more 'stuff' on my pages, I have used no less than five layers and a whole load of embellishments (stickers! foam pads! paint spatters!) I think the plain background keeps it together, though. And for all that this page took me forever - I really, really love it.

Busy busy busy

I'm making the most of these last few days I return to work. There's so much that I want to do, and it's only now that I have any kind of enthusiasm to do it. Once I go back to the office, I think my biggest worry will be: how on earth am I going to do it all?